This will make year number 4 come 11/11/2015 without my sweet girl. I can tell you this, it doesn't get easier.

Sometimes, I just feel like taking a mental break and spending time alone because I just need to sit and cry. Sometimes, I think about things that I am going to do and sure miss her. I miss her being able to take part in these things. I feel like she is missing so much. I know deep down she would want me to live and do things but, it still feels like its unfair.

I always think about what people say and how sometimes, sometimes its so heartless but, they just don't know any better. Theres a reason for your pain. Really? The reason is I am here in this world without my sweet girl. You must have done something for God to do this to you. First of all, that isn't how God works. We feel bad enough without someone saying something so heartless and ignorant. Read your bible. God doesn't punish people like that. I can give you a couple verses to look up.....John 9:1-3, Dueteronomy 32:4 and, John 9:6-7.

Of course, three years seems like a long time but, its a lot longer than most realize. She has a birthday coming up. She would be 19 years old. There is so much she is missing. There are so many things that I am getting to do that yes, I feel guilty she cannot. I have mentioned this a million times and, will a million more. It is normal to feel guilty. It is normal to cry and cry some more.

This world will continue on whether I want to or not, I just have to remember that Lezlie loved life. She would want me to live even though it is harder at times than anyone could realize.

After all, that day I get to see her again, its going to be pretty awesome. I am jealous of God and the angels he has around his throne. Some of the best.

1 John 4:18 "Perfect love casts out all fear."