A wish list....

Did you know that all bereaved parents have a wish list.

The first thing is we wish our child didn't have to die.

We wish you weren't afraid to speak about our children. Say their name. They did live. They are still very important. We would like to know that they were important to you as well.

If I cry when you speak of her, its not because you upset me, its because she is no longer here and sometimes, I cry a lot. (just an fyi).

Do not remove their pictures, artwork, or things to remember them from your home etc., that is like killing us all over again.

We are not contagious, bereavement is not contagious. We need you more than ever now.

We need to talk about us and we need you to talk about you. We need diversions.

We need to know that the death hurts/pains you just like it does us. I promise you, it wouldn't make us feel any worse. It would be something we need to know.

Our grief will not go away in 6 months, it will never be over. There are also certain times it may be worse but, you have to remember we have to live with their death until the day we die.

We will never fully recover and that is okay but, we need you to know this. Some expect us to come out like nothing happened. This isn't the flu.

We don't need pity parties. We have to hurt to heal. Let us grieve. Remember there is no wrong way.

Please don't think we are rude when we just walk away, sometimes the world moves too fast and, we have to just take a break. We need alone time for thinking, for our peace of mind.

Grief changes people. We will never be the same again. Remember a big part of us died when our child (parent, etc) died. We will never be who we were before.

Sometimes we wish you could understand how we feel but, we pray you never have to understand how we feel!

Ephesians 3:12 "Talk to God about everything. There is nothing he can't handle. Go to him.'