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Another one of those days....

Have you ever felt like life just keeps knocking you down. I can count many times I have felt that way. With everything going on, it kind of feels like that now. What I do know is you have to believe in God and have faith.

Sometimes you think, man this will be my year and then it doesn't even began right, or things that carry over from last year make you think maybe it'll be next year.

I also know that the more and deeper you love someone, the harder the grief hits you and that carry's on a lifetime. It makes the little things that knock you down seem like mountains.

I did lose all faith at one time. I believe it was around February 10, 2017. I was in charge of a memorial and the day before I realized I absolutely could not do it. I sat in the cemetery crying and angry with God for not only taking my baby but for taking my friends. I was mad that I volunteered to do something I honestly didn't feel I could. I was angry at anything and everything and had zero faith in God, people, etc. I had, at that moment, hit rock bottom. At that moment I had in my head a plan. The plan was completely thought out and I still remember it. But, I sent texts to friends and they call came through.

The next day I got up and did the one thing I knew I would have a hard time doing, perfectly executed a memorial service. Thats the day I regained my faith. Thats the day I realized maybe my purpose was actually to be there and help others. To show others they weren't alone. But, who was gonna be there for me besides God. Well, I can tell you who now and I am thank God for these people. I won't name them but I do know besides my family and my son, there were named in a couple other texts.

So when I feel like life keeps knocking me down, or when people I am around feel like that I just remind them to have Faith. To believe. Thats what I do.

Its been one of those days. One of those days were I don't really know how to feel or what I am feeling but, I miss my sweet girl. I pray hard for our sweet Natalie. God has this and us.

Romans 8:31 "She who kneels before God can stand before anyone."

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The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart;  the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2

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