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LIVING FOR LEZLIE

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Birthdays....

One thing I can tell you is this, you never really find a way that is "right" when it comes to celebrating your child that is gone's birthday.


Lets be honest, it feels wrong on every level to celebrate. Instead of marking another year on the tree of life, it is another year trying to fill a gap. Another year trying to wonder who you might have been and, another year of heartbreak.


When you think about the things they should be doing/experiencing at their age, it is hard to swallow the cold truth that you are not here.


Truth is they are forever loved, missed, frozen in time and while this was birthday #19 for Lezlie and #20 for Mallory, they will always be 15 and 16.


This should be a day we eat cake together and sing not release some stupid balloons or lanterns into the air. Not a day where you want someone to do a good deed because that would be something they would do or appreciate.


We shouldn't wonder what their voice sounds like. What a hug would feel like. These are things we should know.


We should be asking what they want to eat, what gift they want and even what kind of cake you want. Not asking anyone else what they think you'd like.


But yet, the pictures won't change. You won't age and there will be no more memories.


This nightmare never ends.


Do birthdays big for your little ones and even the big ones, make a fuss. Take the pictures.


Birthdays are very hard just like other days but, it gets a little bit harder when you realize you have to continue to celebrate a day for someone that isn't with you. Heaven may be sweeter but, it isn't any easier.


******I do apologize if this makes no sense, I am a little tired.


Psalm 90:12 "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."




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The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart;  the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2

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