Don't judge me....

Unless you have walked in my shoes, you don't get the right to judge how I get through this thing called life.

You cannot tell me how to grieve. Even those that have suffered the same kind of loss cannot judge how another person grieves. No one grieves the same way.

Just because I smile does not mean I am not sad. You have no idea. You say to smile because Lezlie would want that but then think its okay to criticize that I am smiling.

I realize it has been almost four years but you know, grieve has no timetable. Grief is a journey individualized to each person and, its pretty lonely too.

Just because I am breathing and living does not mean I am not dying.

My grief will never be too short or long, too weak or strong and regardless of what it seems like to you, it is never wrong.

Just because I do not want to talk about it, doesn't mean I forgot about it.

Don't think I am crazy because every single day, sometimes twice a day, I will be at the cemetery. Just to make sure everything looks okay, or to talk or, to listen.

I do things differently. I will never forget and I will do things so no one else will forget either but do not judge what I do. You have no idea the magnitude of the grief I am feeling. You have no idea what living this nightmare called child loss is like.

People will judge you for everything you do. How your hair looks. How you walk, or talk. How you drive. How you eat. They will judge you because that is what people do but, do not let anyone judge you because you grieve differently. No ones loss is the same and your reaction will not be like theirs.

Do not let people judge you.

Do not judge me. You have no idea what I am and will continue to go through. This nightmare I am experiencing is far worse than any dream, its real. Its never-ending and, I will do what I have to do to make it through this journey.

Matthew 7:1 "Do not judge or you too will be judged."