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Faith, (again)

I literally used to have no faith in God or people. This all started about November 11, 2015. I mean how could I have faith in a God that took my child. How could I have faith in people because the leave.


I literally had no faith. I just pretty much existed. I promise, the thought of going to work well, that wasn't going to happen. I took off work not because I just couldn't go back, I didn't want too. Why would I want to work with people, they let you down or, they leave you.


I didn't go to church. Why would I? God let me down. Because every night I prayed he watched over my children then, he took one of them. Why would I go and serve someone that let me down?


I resented everyone and everything. I hated holidays, birthdays, anything that I knew she loved.


I hated football, music. I hated everything. I hated myself.


Then, I received a book from a friend and I read it. And I thought wow, this lady lost a few of her children and she never stopped believing. If she loved and served the God that I felt let me down, well I could. If she trusted people even though she was left and letdown, I could.


So, over a course of time, I changed. I met people that today I don't know if I could make it without them. I lost people that I know I can make it without them (not by death by choice). I still see them sometimes but, it no longer bothers me that either they left me behind or it was God's will they were left behind.


I now have faith. I trust people. But most importantly, I trust and love God. Because one thing I know, he has my back if no one else does.


Matthew 17:20 "Faith can move mountains."




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The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart;  the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2

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