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The month of February is always a hard month. Sometimes, actually all the time, I dread the month.

Besides the so called holiday where you are supposed buy the people you love something to show how much you love them, Lezlie's birthday falls on February 28. Valentines day to me is a crazy holiday because shouldn't you honestly be showing people how much they mean to you etc the other 364/365 days a year.

I love that Dr. Austin refused to have a February 29th baby. Lezlie was born on the 28th. 3:30 p.m.

But, I don't hate the month of February, I just have a hard time going through the whole month only to get to the end and not have her here to celebrate her birthday. Last year, just like the past couple of years, I celebrated her birthday and even had cake. But, its very hard to celebrate a birthday when the birthday girl isn't here. I am also sure it seems pretty weird or odd to others, but I have never cared about that.

I just care about keeping her memory alive. This would be here last teenage birthday. Each year I try to do something different but this year, I am at a loss for what to do because, it gets harder as the years go by.

I will probably spend the next 27 days trying to figure out what to do on that last day. All I know is that it will not be the same without her here. That is when you wish you could just go to heaven for a weekend or a day even and visit. Celebrate that birthday, etc.

But, I don't hate February, I just have a hard time because of what it means. It means that my sweet girl was born but it means I can no longer celebrate with her.

Hug your kids. Celebrate birthdays, etc with them because, you are never promised tomorrow.

Luke 18:16 "Jesus said, let the little children come to me."

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The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart;  the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2

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