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Grateful, thankful, blessed...

You know how the month of November half the world tries to post so many days of being thanks. I guess because thanksgiving is celebrated that much. Every November I get mad because instead of following some trend how about everyone be thankful ALL YEAR LONG.

It is a lot easier for some others to be thankful all year than those of us in the member of the child loss club.

People also think that positive thinking is the answer to everything including getting over grief. Sorry to disappoint, it does not work like that.

It is really hard to be grateful when your child has died. All the positive thoughts in the world will not change it. The only fix is for her to come back.

You can tell me all my blessings and I can change that topic really fast by showing you the pain that child loss has cost. I guess we could place them in a chair side by side, the chair she should be in eating whatever dessert she wanted but, she isn't . I am sure the table she is at is way cooler and better but, she isn't at mine and that is where all the pain can overflow and make blessings and being grateful pretty small.

But, I will not focus on just my blessings. I will not forget myself sweet girl but, I am thankful for the time I had. I am thankful every single day for the time I had not just 30 days close to the end of a year or near a holiday.

Parents that have lost a child can be grateful and grieving. We can't cure the pain with the blessings but we can be grateful and thankful for the memories, the time, the love and, the fact that even though God took a big part of us, we got to have the time we did.

Yes, it is very hard to sit here and be grateful for the time knowing all the things that she is missing. All the things she should be doing with her friends. I try my best to focus on the positive but, it is harder at times.

I am thankful every single day including that horrific last day, the day I would see her stop living and pray that maybe, maybe just one day I could live again.

Just remember to thankful, grateful and blessed the other months out of the year. Really, we should be everyday even those of us in this awful club but, we are even if at times it doesn't seem like that.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

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The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart;  the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2

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