Grief....

It is not enjoyable.

It is unexplainable.

It is very surprising.

It is not textbook so do not even try to imagine it is.

It can be absent, which is really a part of the grief process called complicated grief. You may show no signs or only a few signs of distress about the loss. It is really an impaired response resulting from the all too common denial or avoidance.

Grief is never like people say. We assume it is this way when it really isn't. People tell us we go through 5 stages but, it is not like that at all.

Sometimes you experience shock, you think you are dreaming and then realize you are actually living a nightmare.

The loss is not real yet. When you go home and they don't show up, it all sets in.

You spend time focusing on planning a funeral, etc. and once it is all over, reality hits hard. Sometimes it literally knocks your breath away.

Sometimes, you want to avoid it all. You do not want to talk about it, you are fine after all. You avoid reminders or triggers, memories; you take care of others and not yourself.

What if your relationship was not the best or what you felt it should be? Just know that grief is specific to you only and its okay to feel certain ways.

Grief is different for everyone and how we react is our own response. We do not all grieve the same and, that is okay. Textbooks may tell you what you should feel and do but, not everything is textbook specific.

Ecclesiastes 1:18 "For in much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow."