We all know by now what grief is. But, do you realize it changes EVERYTHING.
Relationships included. Not just friends, but family. Not just old relationships, but new ones. It has an affect on everything.
I always feel guilty doing things I know Lezlie would love to do even when someone says, you know she would want you to be happy. I sometimes want to say, how do you know what she would want, you didn't know her. But, alas, I don't.
Shopping. Lezlie liked to shop. I find myself trying to find things she would like and wind up either getting way to much for others or nothing at all. Why? Well, I don't figure I need to get myself anything anyway.
We have already discussed friendships. If someone can't be there 100% for you, you don't honestly need them. I do honestly believe that God will show you the true friends meant to be there and, they will show you 100% who they are. Believe them.
Work, lets be honest here, grief can make you want to work or not. I spent quite a few months not wanting to socialize. Not at all. If your work environment is stressful, I guarantee you are going o hate it just as you hated everything before. Honestly, we have absolutely no business working somewhere we hate or that stresses us out. We are already broken.
Relationships, grief affects and changes these too. Lets be honest who wants to date someone that lost a child. Truly amazing people if they stick with you through the ups and downs. Which, will be MANY. We grieving folks feel alone, crazy. Its like the world is moving and we are not. What is normal? What is even worse, the other person will probably feel the same. If you didn't know the person before, you don't know what their normal was, if you did, well you probably are wishing for the old person.
Unfortunately, grieving folks don't tend to give as much to a relationship. We are consumed with GRIEF. Hello, have you read anything from the other 100 posts. With grief comes depression. Depression sucks. It will rob you blind. Kind of like fear. It sucks too.
Remember, patience. Keep yours. I promise we will sort of return to life. We will always grieve but, I promise you will not regret the patience you keep.
Let us experience the ups and downs. Our feelings are not problems. In order to get through grief, we have to experience it. Just be there. Listen. Sometimes a listening ear and a word not said at all are the greatest things anyone can do for that grieving person.
The unfortunate truth is this, grieving a child is a grief that lasts longer than any other kind. Just be there, listen and if you have no idea what to say, say I want to help you and I will do anything you need. The best things people do for me is remember birthdays, holidays, anniversary days, all the days that matter. Just remember to.....
Be patient, I am grieving.
Matthew 24:13 "But the one who stands firm to the end will be saved."
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