You know what the hardest part of losing your loved on is, the fact that they are gone and we are still here.
I sit and think about all the things that she never will have the opportunity to do. She never graduated high school. She never got the chance to go to college. She will never get the chance to stand on LSU football field and kick a ball (hey, she had dreams). She will never get married. She will never graduate college. She will never have her own kids. She will never get to go to a prom. She will never get the chance to take that senior trip with her classmates. She will never get to see her sweet cousins graduate high school. I could probably go on and on.
But what is worse, I am still here and get to think every day about what she misses. She missed her brother graduate college. She missed the chance to go see his favorite band live. Yes, she would have loved Metallica. She missed all the LSU games we went to, and MSU. We are still here.
Real life grief is nothing like the movies. I mean lets be for real, movies make it seem magical. Trust me, it is absolutely not magical at all. There is no climax to this story, no turning point.
I sure wish we had the opportunity to witness all her accomplishments but, we don't get that chance. Yes, she will miss all these things but, so will we.
Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we actually reach it.
There are ways to deal with grief that most never even think about. Rest. I probably haven't slept that good in 3 years. I would probably run a marathon and a half if I ever got the sleep I needed.
Never put a time limit on your pain. And, do not let anyone else. THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO GRIEVE and anyone that tries to tell you how to do this, you don't need them.
I am grieving and can tell you this, everyone grieves different. Yes, I have said this before and it is so true. It can take years, many years. Forever actually.
Find those to help you, a good support group. There are actually meetings for others like us and even though I have yet to go, I have heard they can be so helpful. My next goal is to start attending when they start back up.
Make an in home memorial. I have a friend that has actually done this for my daughter and I think it is amazing. (now I realize I left her off my good friends list, so I will be editing one).
Just remember this, your loss is not like anyone else and how you grieve is not how anyone else grieves. Do not worry about being judged. Grieve how you want unless it is not healthy then, get some support to get you through it.
Until I meet my sweet girl again, I am pretty sure I will also grieve......forever and, that is okay.
Yes, I am still here but, God is here with me.
Philippians 1:3 "I thank my God every time I remember you."
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