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Moving on...

That is something that people will say you need to do but, they also aren't walking in your shoes. Its something people say is scary. It scares me. It feels like it means you are letting go and you know what, I just cannot see it happening.

One of the greatest fears is that the walk gets easier, that we forget. In reality, we will never forget.

The feeling of grief or what we feel after a loss can wreck your life. It makes people around us feel uncomfortable and to be honest, it can make us feel the same.

But lets be honest. I will never ever use those words and it would be everyones best interest to never tell me to JUST MOVE ON.

Sometimes people pressure you. They make you feel that after a year you should be getting over it, moving on and truthfully, they just do not know what you are going through and how bad you feel without the added pressure.

But, there is absolutely no such thing as moving on after loss. It requires you to not only let go of a part of your life or heart but, it requires you to accept that life is not only cruel, but unfair. It also makes you pretend the greatest trauma in your life never happened. That is why there is no moving on. There is no getting over it.

Trying to survive loss is trying to find a way to continue waking up every day and putting one foot in front of the other. You will never be able to move forward unless you can find a way to do so with the child you lost a part of your life. You have to do this in a new way. It is different for everyone of us. You will never stop grieving the loss. You learn to cope and you learn to avoid triggers. It makes life feel a little easier.

Grief will always be there just as the love is. You aren't moving on, just forward and take as long as you need to do so. Grief has absolutely no timetable and you know what, it shouldn't.

1 Samuel 1:27 "For this child I have prayed...."

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The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart;  the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2

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