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November 13,2015

Let's just begin by saying that this day was pretty much an extension of 11/11/2015.

My reason for talking about this day is because, it was a day that was just as hard as the 2 days prior. My other reason follows at the end. I can't even ask anyone to imagine burying their child. But, it happens. Unfortunately it happens a lot more than people realize and, age doesn't matter. They could be 1 month to 21, etc. It doesn't matter. If their days are numbered to last until they are 15, thats it. You cannot bargain for another or promise your soul. It doesn't work like that.

This is the day my sweet angel was laid to rest and, the day her sweet friend Mal would join her.

I certainly didn't look forward to this day. Who would? It was all a blur. We kind of went out of the box and let everyone sign her casket. Something to help them cope, maybe just a little.

I remember getting to the church and then the people started coming in. And there she was, just asleep. The tears flowing. The crying. The "I am so sorry's." The hugs. The much needed hugs but, nothing could make the pain go away and nothing ever will. Except that day I get to see her and ask Jesus why, why did you take her so young.

Job 14:5 says "A person's days are determined, you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits that he cannot exceed." Some of us are lucky, we live longer or we can be unlucky as our beautiful children are taken, yet we are still here.

There were so many people that said goodbye to Lezlie. I cannot even begin to try and number the amount but, she was loved. She loved others. She lived life to the fullest but she only got 15 short years. 15.

I sometimes sit and wonder what she would be like. She did tell me she was gonna play football on the LSU field. The kicker. We all can dream big. She was just becoming her own person. But, her life was cut short.

Her service was beautiful. It was a long trip to the cemetery and of course it was not easy getting out of that truck to say our final goodbye. I could have slept there that night if it would have been possible. I don't think I would have gotten much sleep, but I would have sat there, all night.

The love that was shown to us during this time, I will never forget it.

Following graveside services I decided I had to see Mallory. I made it just in time to tell her goodbye. She too, joined that wondrous army up above. But, too soon also. She was 16. 16.

Best friends, together forever.

I can sit and cry and cry and cry but it won't bring either back. I can sit and be mad as a hornet but, what do does that do. I just sit, with this mind like and elephant and remember. I remember the times I had with both and remember the love I had for both. I also sit and think that I will do whatever to keep their memories strong years from now, if I am still here.

The reason I shared this date is because this is the day that I am pretty sure I started that journey spiraling down to the pits of depression. It got worse and worse and worse and, I had a pretty awesome friend that woke me up in Feb of 2017. That will be for another day. But, depression is a real thing and it is a bad thing if it isn't helped out.

Love your family. Forgive and forget. Spend time with them. Tomorrow is not promised. 15 and 16 is too soon to go but, no one knows the number of the days they have. No one but the one above.

Romans 5:8. "I loved you at your darkest."

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The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart;  the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2

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