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Stop telling me what to do...

Updated: Jan 24, 2019

You know how people think they are helping by adding their two cents on grief, well it is time to tell the to stop.

When anyone says to you that is time to move on, well ask them how would you know. First, even if they have experienced a loss, they still have absolutely no right telling you what to do.

Grief is unique to everyone.

This is a topic I will probably go back over many times.

Its just people mean well but, they don't speak well.

Sometimes we need a break from life, work, people, etc and people get offended or upset. Nothing I do is because of anyone but me. If I want to be antisocial then let me. If I want to drive around for 4 hours and do nothing, let me. I do not always need someone but, at times I do.

Just stop telling me what to do. Stop telling us what to do. Stop giving your advice that we aren't going to take because we will deal with this how we want.

We can sleep at the graveside and it is okay.

We can stop and talk about them and it is okay.

You cannot put a time stamp on this awful thing but, you can let us deal how we deal best (unless it is illegal or harmful, then you can shake us).

If you cannot handle us, we understand. We may not get upset because we probably saw it coming.

If you are afraid of how to help or reach out, simply ask what can I do to help and not well, this is what I think. We don't need that, we need someone to reach out. We may say just sit in silence with me and hold my hand but, you tried. You tried and you know what, thats better than sitting there telling us to do this or that or get over it. Like I said yesterday, that friend card can be pulled.

Child loss ruins relationships, friendships etc but because of communication issues. But it can also strengthen them. Trust me on this.

I can tell you that I have had friends for years that have been awful compared to the ones that I have met within the last 5. It isn't about how long you have known them, it is about how they help you and, someone you just met can make you feel more loved than someone you've knows for years and years.

I may have gotten off track but, let us deal with our unique situation the best way we can and, help us by hugs, prayers and asking how you can help us. And most importantly, love our craziness as you did before. We may not always say we appreciate you but, we do. Just never give up on us.

1 Corinthians 13:7 "Love never gives up."

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The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart;  the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2

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