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When people say oh you’re so strong, I’m really not.

I have just learned that I have to live my life the way God wants me too and this new normal. But, it’s an old new normal for me.

I’m not really strong. I honestly feel some days like throwing my hands up and a strong person never thinks of quitting.

I have to make myself get up. I have to make myself go on. Why, you never know who is watching and observing. Strong is a word That I don’t feel I relate to. I don’t want to be called strong because I’ve had to love after the death of a child. I’d rather be strong for another reason.

I want to be strong because I rode the bull for 8 seconds. I want to be strong because I can take out the best MMA fighter. I don’t want it to be related to death. No one does.

I would have never chosen strong to be associated with this,

Just like hero. I don’t want to be anyone’s hero because I M making it and keeping my faith after the death of my child. I remember getting a text when I worked home health from a patient that said I was his hero. Why? I got supplies ordered for him that made it in 36 hrs after no one else could. (trach supplies).

Strong and hero I don’t wNt to be related to death but, I can’t change that people feel that. I just know that it’s a way of life I have had to learn to live and helping others is my nature. Faith is something we all need.

Never give up. You have no idea who is watching,

1 chronicles 16:11 “Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.”

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The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart;  the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2

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