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The beginning....

It has taken me three years, three long years to decide to put my feelings to paper - or shall I say keyboard.

November 11, 2015 still stands out in my mind. Its a day I am pretty sure I will never forget. I will probably live to be 100 and still have the memory of an elephant. Something that I truly love at times, and I hate.

I remember the phone call. I remember thinking "well, this isn't true". But it was, it was all so true. The beginning of my life without the most beautiful child anyone could have ever known. The beginning of my life without Lezlie Ann.

You see, Lezlie Ann was the type of person I wish I could be like. I wish I could love everyone. I wish I could speak my feelings. I wish I could be remembered the way she is still remembered but, it may take me until I am 100 to master that.

My sweet angel and her best friend lost their lives in a car accident. Mallory left to join Lezlie on 11/13/2015.

Since that day, I have went through anger, bargaining, grief, depression but, not acceptance. I didn't know how to accept it. I still don't. But what I have done, something I feel guilty about at times, is learn to live again.

I all to often forget that others hurt like I do. But, no one could ever know my hurt or pain.

Lezlie was loved. She is still loved. When people ask me how many children I have, I say two. I have even told my story about Lezlie to try and ease others sadness. To let them know that they don't hurt alone. Sometimes they need a hug. What they don't need, and what I don't need are those you'll be okay, God has a plan, blah, blah, blah. Nope. Those are not helping us. We need a hug, a prayer, a moment of silence, an I love you, a story about our loved ones and, a simple gesture that doesn't necessarily mean you will know what to do but that "I'm here for you", thats pretty awesome to hear.

I plan to try and help people deal with grief through this site. I may be absolutely no help at all or, I may help 1 person, or 100. As long as others know they aren't alone, thats all that matters.

I plan to update this daily with my story. Comments are welcome. Negativity will be handled like it should - delete/block, etc. Not everyone goes through grief the same way. This isn't about death, it is about life.

So be ready, I am full of stories. I am full of bible verses but most importantly, I am full of faith.

Luke 1:37 For with God nothing shall be impossible.

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Quite a few people have sent me the link to this blog. I didn't know your daughter and I've never heard her story, but I do know your pain. I lost my little girl too. Almost 7 months ago. Her name is Harper and she drowned at our neighbors house. I am sure I am going thru alot of the emotions you have already experienced. I am currently trying to replace anger and doubt with faith. Keyword being "trying " I look forward to keeping up with this blog. Thanks for sharing your pain so that others may use it to heal. --Brittney


Your faith, endurance, and love for others despite your own pain never ceases to amaze me. Thank you for serving as an inspiration for me and others. You are so loved and prayed for on a continuous basis.


Carrie, I selfishly hope and pray that I never know the pain you have endured. You are truly an inspiration and the the fact that you have this strength, this passion to help others despite what you have been through is an amazing gift that without a doubt, your sweet baby would be proud of. I look forward to your posts. Always know know special you are and that you are so very loved. ~Jennifer


Carrie, you’ve got to be one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. I admire your faith. I can’t wait to hear your stories! Love, Steph.


I am soooooo dang proud of you carrie Dee! This is so awesome! You are a very strong and courageous woman. I look forward to reading your stories. Love you!

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The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart;  the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2

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