Grief can make you feel like you are losing your mind, I feel like my brain has been hacked or hijacked at times.
I will never ever know life as a non bereaved parent. No. I am a member of this crappy club called CHILD LOSS. It totally sucks.
There probably isn't much I wouldn't give to be a "non bereaved parent" but, I know I can't and it sucks in this lonely club. A place I am stuck in forever.
Yes, you can find life again or, it finds you.
Its true that joy and happiness find you.
Yes, you look oh so normal on the outside. But, broken hearts aren't visible. Grief cannot be treated like a broken bone that just needs to be set and to heal. Too bad compassion isn't a universal response to those who are hurting.
But, no matter how much you're living, how much healing your heart has done and no matter how far you run or how long its been, you will always be a part of this club.
The terrifying, horrifying, nightmarish club. The club you can never get kicked out. The worse club on earth.
As sad as it is, knowing we are not alone in this club makes it just a little more bearable. But, I would not wish this upon anyone. As much as it helps to know it is not something I do alone, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I don't love knowing some of my friends are a part of this. I don't love knowing my family is a part of this. It makes it bearable but it certainly doesn't make me like it one bit at all.
This club absolutely sucks.
But, at the end of everyday that I am a member of this club the things that always remain the same are I will see her again, I will see her in Heaven and, God has me and will get me through this.
Philippians 1:21-23 "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."
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