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What do you say...

This comes up a little more than I'd like it to but, what would you or better yet should you say to a grieving parent.

I am so sorry for your loss. Honestly, it is okay to say this but, mean it. Or even say I am so sorry you are going through this.

If there is anything I can do to help you, I am willing to in any way I can. Make it open ended. That way they won't feel they are being a burden when they need something.

Silence is golden. Offer silence. Just sit with them. Be there for them.

Eventually, express what the child meant to you and share memories. Let them share as many stories as they want and every now and then, share one of your favorite memories.

I am praying for you.

I love you.

Thank you for allowing us/me to be a part of the life of such a beautiful, genuine soul.

Grief doesn't have an expiration date.

If it was a small child such as an infant, make something or have something made for the baby and I promise you that telling mom that no matter how long they are with us, every baby deserves to be celebrated will mean so much to them. Its a way of letting them know that you think of them also.

It is okay to not be okay.

It is honestly hard to know if you are saying the right or wrong thing. But, never make statements that would make it seem like the loss is nothing. Never say you'll get over it or you'll be okay.

Take them food. Offer to help mail bills off etc. Sit and be silent. Listen. Share stories and most importantly, just be there. Yes, I have went back and forth on this and probably will again. The best things I have had done included a scrapbook made by my cousin Brandie, donations to St. Judes, a Magnolia Tree planted in her memory, videos of her or videos with her voice and laugh, pictures made, flowers to take to her and, memories shared of how she did something for someone or just made them better by being her and the goofy videos showing her silly side.

Psalm 147:3 "He healed the broken hearted and binds up their wounds."

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The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart;  the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2

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