Sometimes grief makes you want to lie in bed all day, ignore phone calls, texts or just be antisocial.
It makes you want to skip parties, cancel plans, spend time alone, not work, not go in public. It makes people think you are mean, a jerk, antisocial when you probably feel the same way about them because they don't understand why you are like this.
They do not understand that dates of death are a big deal and that you may just want to isolate yourself that day but because no one thinks of those dates like you, you cannot. Probably because you have to work or something like that.
Truth is, you aren't a jerk. You are not mean. You are doing what you have to to live, to keep your will to live alive, to decrease the anxiety, to survive.
Not going to parties, graduations, weddings, etc is not being antisocial, it is surviving.
It would be wonderful if people could realize this but, until they are in your shoes or experience what you have, they won't understand.
Grief changes you. It makes you more anxious. it makes you different. Your outlook on life and people changes so much that, it is normal to you but not to anyone else.
Yes, grief can make you a jerk but it is not something personal. It is one of those things.
Grief can make you so many things but a jerk, no. I always feel that unless you have lost a child, you have no idea the concept of what is going on in our minds. It is a chore to just get up and go and if we are standoffish, well, get over it.
One thing we all need to remember is to take care of ourselves during this time. To remember that we need to focus less on how were are perceived and more on how we can survive and live and take care of ourselves.
Grief changes us but grieving is necessary.
1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
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