What is normal...

Normally, what would be normal would be movie nights, road trips, softball games, texting at all hours, friends over, taco belle runs, etc.

Now, my normal is different.

I spend my day getting out of bed and thinking, I have to do this again.

I see pictures, and sometimes get upset.

I hear songs, and sometimes get upset.

I see movies, and sometimes get upset.

I cry a lot.

I think a lot.

I get stressed out a lot.

I pray a whole lot.

I shut myself off from people a lot, or at least try.

I go into a store and remember something she loved, I try not to cry.

I cry at night, a lot, not sometimes.

I hear others good news and think about how she is missing this, and cry sometimes.

Crying is the new norm. Grieving is the norm.

I do not expect those that have not lost a child to understand that we are never going to be your kind of normal, but we can be our kind and survive.

Life didn't ask me if I could handle this curveball, it was thrown at me and I am trying. I don't do well at times, but, its normal for me.

2 Corinthians 4:8 "We are not defeated we don't give up."