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What its like at the bottom...

Updated: Feb 15, 2019

This is a touchy subject. But, you lose your child and you spiral down and down and finally, you hit rock bottom. You completely lose control.

It is like a dark cave. No lights. No sounds. No air. Nothing. You are just there, alone with your thoughts and you know what, you also start overthinking. Do I try and get out or do I just stop trying all together.

We won't say the word but the s word can cross your mind. You just feel you cannot absolutely live anymore. No one understands at all. No one can help.

I have been at the bottom. I have had the thoughts of the s word. I had a plan. My plan had steps that had to be completed before the plan was to go into effect. You wanna know something else, the last step of my plan was just fulfilled. But, I came out of that dark cave. I saw the light. I regained my faith and, I have a pretty good support system to keep me from every falling into that cave again. And, I have God.

Yes, it is pretty easy to fall into that sense of thinking. It is pretty easy to give up. It is much easier to give up than to keep on going. But, I came out with a new mindset. Life was meant to be lived. In order for me to continue and help others, I had to have faith that not only can I do this, everyone else can do this too. I promise, it seems hard but it is so worth it to get out of the funk. I promise your loved ones would rather look down and see you living than for you to wind up somewhere they aren't.

Yes, I can recant that plan word for word, step by step but, I would rather not. I would rather people realize you have to take a little rain to see the rainbows. You can weather any storm with God on your side and a support system that believes in you.

Isaiah 40:31 "God will renew your strength

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I love you!! I pray for you daily. Please know that we will never forget your beutiful and beloved baby. We speak of her often. I am your friend...and I have your back. If you need anything, you know where to find me I love you.

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The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart;  the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2

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