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An open letter..

Updated: Oct 25, 2019

If you are reading this, you’ve recently lost a child, lost one not so recent or know someone who has.

Grieving this loss is the hardest thing we, you have ever done or will do. Let us pray some of you never experience this.

Without warning, I lost my youngest.

The emotion you feel is incredible and not a good incredible. It’s feared by all parents. It’s an unimaginable loss. That is, until you experience it. Yes, it is the worst thing that can ever happen.

The one thing I discovered was as the years pass, the grief intensifies.

A therapist and my pastors wife told me to write. I even received journals as a gift. What do you write, anything. Just write. I\ use it as a place to put my sorrows. I write to God and to Lezlie.

You see, this is about survival. My son needs A whole mother. I could not and cannot let this grief paralyze me. So, I write. And, it seems after almost four years, I have survived. I may not be as strong as I once was but I’m not as weak either. I have a sense of hope.

But, there is something amazing happening when I journal and I think others may find it amazing too. Just do it. Just write. I have went back over and read some of the things and it’s amazing how I am not the same.

People will say things happen for a reason but, there’s no relevance here to that.

Any questions you want the answer to, write them down. Imagine you without all the pain and let the happiness or comfort Of happiness flow in. You’ll eventually feel some peace. A little is better than none.

Always remember you can heal but it will never take the sadness away. It makes the memories less painful.

Make your journal your safe place. It will help form a new relationship with your angel. Write your memories and stories and feel the joy.

Remember that death isn’t always bad and of course it isn’t always good but, the love and memories you have are always good.

Losing Lezlie has made me love harder and appreciate the smaller things. I have helped a few and shared my story.

Honor your child by sharing memories and healing. It may take a while for the latter but, that is okay.

Just write.

Proverbs 18:24 “There awe “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.“

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The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart;  the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2

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