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Stuck in grief.....

Updated: Jan 23, 2019

Sometimes people say the feel like they are stuck grieving, years and years after their loved one passed.

Well, its been 3 and here I sit, stuck. Not moving at all at times.

I still feel disbelief that this has happened to me.

Everyday I wish she was here. Nothing would go better than a Lezlie hug or an I love you!

But, one thing I do know is that I have learned to live just a little but, that does not mean I do not grieve. Sometimes it is worse than other times. Sometimes I want to stay in bed and just sleep, sleep, and sleep some more. Sometimes, I don't know what I want to do but I want to go back to 11/10/2015 and not let 11/11 happen.

I know that she is with me everywhere. Sometimes she likes to keep me awake or wake me up by turning my dish box on. Sometimes she likes to run up and down the hall at 2 in the morning and sometimes, sometimes I can feel her hug me in a deep sleep. Especially when I have had a pretty awful day.

I know that some people could never understand how we do what we do, I pray that they never have to understand.

Everyone grieves differently and yes, some of us will be stuck in this for a while but, never think there is not someone out there to help you, there is.

Everyone needs a support system and I will be glad to talk to anyone that needs me. I may not have all the answers but, if you have lost a child well, I can so relate.

Life never gets easier but, it does go on. The most important thing about grieving is to not be continuously stuck in it. I am stuck in grief but, I also know how to get myself out of the rut at times. I think I will always be in this moment but, to know Lezlie was to love her and it is pretty hard to overcome that. Its impossible.

John 1:5 "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."

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The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart;  the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.

Isaiah 57:1-2

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