People like me. People like your friends that have lost a child (or father, mother, brother, sister, spouse, pet, etc.)
Grieving people don’t expect you to have words that will fix this, but they do want you to say something. Something as simple as I am so sad with you. I love you. I am praying for you.
We do not want to hear a story about your's or someone else's loss. We only have space for our loss in our life at the moment.
You don’t have to be in the inner circle of a grieving person’s friends to be a welcome companion in grief. Honestly, some of the best help I got came from friends I hardly knew at the time and, I wouldn't trade them for the world.
If grieving people cry when you bring up the person they love who has died, it’s not because you made them sad. I am a crier so, I will cry anyway. Grief is like a computer program running in the background. We want to talk about it and even though we cry when it is brought up, we need to talk about it.
Grieving people will not necessarily call you when they need something. I would go one step further and say we won't call you. So, instead of saying if you need me call, say something like, I will be by to cut you're grass tomorrow. I can send your bills off. I can help with laundry. Volunteer. We will not ask.
We always want to hear our loved ones name. We absolutely do not want to have our loved one forgotten.
We love hearing stories about our loved one. Anytime. Anyplace.
We want your presence. You do not have to do anything, just be there.
We want to hear from you on their birthday and even the anniversary of their death. We will never forget them, we don't want you to either.
Sometimes, I think people need a little refresher in how to help us. Even we may need one to help ourselves. It is definitely not an easy journey. Grieving is always different. Unique to the person. There is no right way. There is no timetable.
Keep praying for us and with us. Keep the faith even when you absolutely cannot see why you should. Gods got this, I promise.
John 11:40 "Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?”
